What to write in the first message

Sep 17, 2018

Chat sites may be a thing of the nineties, but a well crafted, personal message is timeless. The content of your first correspondence should be carefully chosen, containing an individual note so that you catch the eye of the person you wish to chat with. It's important to show that they are at the center of your attention.

Chat and Show your interested

The best way to start an easy going chat on most sites is to ask questions relating to your matches interests listed on their profile. Try not to ask random questions – Stick to the topics they put on their profile. Read through their hobbies, wishes and principles, check their pictures and try to form a global impression of his or her personality.

For example if you see that they like a special activity ask for how long the person has been practicing it. Find the things you have in common and build your rapport from there. Keep the questions relevant, but generalized at first and then, if they reply to you, ask more detailed questions in the following mails.

Make yourself interesting as well

Being interested in other people makes you interesting! You could start your chat or message with a quote from the other person’s favorite movie. These messages are more likely to be answered than those which seem to be a template sent to all the profiles.

It's also important to give the person a first impression of who you are, so that he or she knows if your attentions are worth reciprocating. The vocabulary you use, the grammar you employ and the jokes you make are all subtle signals of your personality, bear that in mind. Try and share one thing about yourself in the chat. You can for example share what kind of activities you like, what music you are into or what kind of books you enjoy reading. But don’t reveal too much in your first message – Its a depressing reality, but many messages (especially if you are male!) go unanswered. Be patient, genuine and consistent and you will get results. Chatting online is an art, as one must convey emotion and personality through black and white text. Please be under no misunderstandings, finding your own personal, communication style can take time! be patient with yourself and don't take rejection personally. Dating is a numbers game, and it takes a lot of "no's", to find that perfect someone who says "yes!"

Once your chat skills are honed to perfection and you get yourself a date, our other articles will help you navigate the troublesome waters of choosing a venue for your first date.